I've been in a major funk since September 2010. The funk has ebbed and flowed. Things seem better and then they're bad again. I'm getting better at admitting when things are bad. When will things be consistently good?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Day 100

Well I finally rowed today.  I did the 8 sets of 500m intervals with 2 minutes rest.  Ugh.  It did suck.  My legs were tired and I could hardly breathe.  My times were fairly consistent...1:52 to 1:56 with a lot of 1:53's.  That part made me happy.  Then when I looked at my time from a month ago when I did 7 sets of 500m my times went from 1:55 to 2:01.  So I'm apparently getting faster even though this is only the 3rd time I've rowed in the past 10 days.  I need to keep going.

The eating is ehh.  No caffeine was a plus.  Eating "bars" is never good because they don't have sugar and yet they aren't "real food".  I definitely feel better eating real food but when I feel anxious, I grab whatever I can or I go buy whatever I can to eat then and there...well usually in my car.  This happened today.  I managed to not listen to anxious thoughts the first time but the second time they creeped into my head I let those jittery feelings "win".  The dude at Kaiser said that people are usually some blend of depressed and anxious.  I'm definitely more anxious than I am depressed.  This seems like it should be an easier thing to "fix".  I've started the "anxiety" book that he recommended so we'll see how that goes.

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