Day 164

I ate well today.  I rowed a ton, 14K total.  I walked to a Fresh N' Easy to stock up on some Think Thin Bars, LaraBars, and Kind Bars for Yosemite.  I know I've had bad  luck with bars in the past but this is going to be my breakfast, lunch, and snacks.  It should be alright.  I'll be in an internet free zone for awhile.  Updates later!

Day 163

I rowed 6 sets of 1000m at 24 hour in the morning.  Then I kinda lazed around but I did go out and wander around the Citadel Outlets.  I read some of a book.  I wrote in a new journal I started called "Unsent Letters".  It has been suggested for a number of weeks by the two group therapists that people write a letter when they get upset with a person, but then don't send it.  So I did that yesterday.  And I'm going to use it to write letters to my deceased grandparents as well.  I know that makes me sound nuts but having the conversations with them in my head isn't much better.  I also went to the gym last night.  I'll be taking about 3 weeks off from working out and that has me moderately stressed.  Not really, but a little.  Then I went out and had dinner with a friend.  I was exhausted by 10pm.  I went a bit crazy around 4pm with about a cup of cashews and macadamia nuts.  Live and learn!

Day 162

I did a lot today.  I kept so busy I didn't have time to think about being depressed.  I wrote thank you notes to kids at school, I did arts and crafts with kids at AFCC, I took a friend from church to see "Brave" in 3D, I hung out with my friend and her baby, I went to group therapy at Kaiser, I watched three episodes of "Community" with a friend, I deadlifted at the gym, and now I am home.  I am tired.  I ate well today.  Yay.

Day 161

I cooked, really steamed the hell out of it, corned beef for the first time.  It was good!  I was surprised.  I rowed 8000m yesterday, but not all at once.  I rowed either 2000m or 1000m and then I rested some.  I don't want to hurt my left knee.  I have 32 more times where I need to row 8000m.  I think that's easier than trying to remember what day is a 5K day and what day is a 10K day.  Now everyday, well 5 days a week is an 8K day.  Yay.

Day 160

Yesterday was ok.  I've been eating well.  I rowed at the gym.  I caught up with a friend at a church down the road.  It was a productive day.  No starbucks again!

Day 159

Well I slept in til about 9am.  I ate food.  I read some of "The Tender Bar".  I played a lot of bejeweled on Facebook.  I ate an entire thing of celery with almond butter.  That was not really a good plan.  I took a nap for about 4 hours because I didn't want to do anything else.  Now I'm up thinking I really want to "go through my clothes" and get rid of everything that I didn't wear last year or that doesn't fit.  I know other people could be wearing stuff that I'm just storing.  I think clothes have mocked me my entire life.  Not sure if mocked is the right word.  Whatever.

Day 158

I slept in until 8am.  Or at least I didn't get up until then.  I went to the gym.  My left knee is still sore from all that rowing yesterday.  I did 4 loads of laundry.  I ate good food.  I did not go to Starbucks.  I went to check out the new "Cars Land" and "Buena Vista Street" with a friend at California Adventure.  I read more of "The Tender Bar".  Now I am very tired.

Days 156 and 157

I had a great time in Vegas.  It was really relaxing and nice.  When the plane touched down today there was a voice that ran through my head saying, "Back to real life...F*ck."  Yup, pretty much.  Ahh, it'll get better.

I rowed a half marathon today, 21097m, for the "summer solstice" challenge.  It took 1:41:00.1.  I didn't stop at all.  I took a one-armed drink of water about 5 times.  So I can row 13.1 miles about 31 minutes faster than I can jog it.  Nice to know.

Day 155

Went to school, cleaned up my classroom, turned in grades.  Success.  Got my nails done and had lunch.  Fun.  Hung out with a friend and her baby.  A lot of fun.  Went to Kaiser for "class".  Ok.  Went to the gym.  Rowed.  I'm already sore.  Tomorrow I will be in an "internet free zone" for a day.  This could be a good thing.

Day 154

Ok day once I got out the door.  I had a lot of coffee again today.  I ate alright though.  I did 3 loads of laundry, which was amazing.  I wrote in my journal and read some of a book.  I've finished 4 books in 4 weeks.  Book 5 is looking good so far.  I rowed 8000m today, 3000 this morning and 5000 tonight.  My lifetime total, since mid-November is 701,648m.  Yay.

Day 153

I am definitely depressed.  Ahh.  I had breakfast with Emma, went to the store and then went paddle-boarding with people from the gym.  When I got home at 2:30, I didn't want to do anything.  I took a 4 hour nap.  I woke up and ate food for about 2 hours and then went back to sleep until 5:30am.  Not good.

Day 152

First day of summer.  Met with the therapist at Kaiser.  Rowed 3 different times.  Ate 4 bananas with almond butter.  Took a nap.  Finished a book called "Same kind of different as me".  Although this all sounds good, I need a better plan.

Day 151

I joined the gym 3 years ago today.  It was Brea's graduation tonight.  I ate really badly this afternoon and into this evening.  I did not have a plan.  Ugh.  At least the crying is over.

Day 150

Only a few tears today.  No rowing, which is bad because now I'm not 1000m ahead, I'm 9000m behind.  :(  Oh well.  Ate ok.  Still too much coffee.  Tomorrow is graduation!

Day 149

I've been so busy.  So tired.  Today was ok.  I only cried once and it was after all but one kid had left.  I rowed 5000 m in just under 22 minutes.  I'm supposed to row a 10K today.  I dunno.

Day 148

I need to remember that tomorrow is Tuesday.  I need to go to school.  I've cried multiple times today.  Ugh.  I also took a nap with a baby.  Fun.  All things seem to balance out.

Days 146 and 147

I had A LOT of coffee.  I had a piece of Madonna Inn cake this afternoon.  Otherwise things were fine.  I'm tired.

Day 145

I made it through one of the longest weeks ever.  Yay.  It will be a long weekend now but it's ok.  It needs to happen.

Day 144

I made it to Friday.  Thank goodness.  I rowed 5k today.  I drank a lot of coffee.  Ben flies in tomorrow.

Day 143

Coffee three times, one time decaf.  I ate at 5:15am, 10am, and then not again until 8pm.  Probably not the best of plans.  But I didn't really overeat so that was a plus.  I rowed 6000m.  Closer everyday.

Day 142

I only went to Starbucks once today!  I'm too tired to go back out and get anything.  I woke up at 3:55am so I could take a friend to the airport.  I think that has caught up to me.  :)  I rowed another 5k today, but pretty slow, 24:05.6.  Ehh, at least the meters are getting rowed.  I'll worry about fast later.

Day 141

I made it through Monday.  I had a lot of coffee.  I went to depression class.  I ate out.  I am spending too much money.  I just need to get through next Thursday.  Graduation.  If I can make it to next Friday without completely flipping out, it's gonna be a "victory".

Day 140

I'm not really ready for this week, but whatever.  Ha.  I ate alright today.  Back to going to Starbucks a bunch.  Ugh.  I need to stop giving them my money.  On a good note, I've decided that I want to get to the million meters rowed by the end of summer, August 30th.  So I made up a plan this morning.  I needed to row 31 5K's, 17 10K's, and 2 half marathons.  After church I went to the 24 hour by the 91 and changed.  When I got to their rowers, one was out of batteries and the other was missing a foot strap.  I was annoyed, but not annoyed enough to quit, so I went to the 24 hour by the buena park mall.  They have newer rowers and a nicer building overall.  I should just plan on going there in the afternoons or to the one in Santa Fe Springs in the mornings.  Yay for having a "new" goal.  Rowing fast will have to wait.

Day 139

After a slow and steady decline all week to the full on nose dive into oblivion yesterday, today was good. Only one latte!  Amazing.  So tired, going to sleep now, which is good because otherwise I'd go out and get cake.

Day 138

Yeah, I had a donut and coffee 4 times, and sweet potato fries and a chocolate peanut butter shake.  I spend too much money on food.  This is madness.