Day 6 of the dress diet

I had 1755 calories today I would guess.  I rowed 5000m at the gym.  I am only 18000m away from 1 million.  I might just say screw it and do all of that tomorrow.  This was not a good day.  I feel like I haven't taught very well this week.  I met with a parent, kid, and counselor today which was kind of a mess.  I hung out with a friend's 15 month old daughter and that was the highlight of the day but by the end of the night even that made me sad as I realized I will hardly get to see my brother's kids assuming he and Darell have some.  The gym kind of sucks right now and then my mom called.  She wants me to tell her if she included a letter with the hats that she mailed.  She can't remember if she did and she couldn't remember when she had mailed the box.  I actually started to cry with her still on the line but I'm pretty good at hiding that so yeah...today sucked.  I really wanted to eat through the wall at 8:30pm or so.  I was crying in my car while driving home from rowing because I realized I wanted to nosedive into eating oblivion.  I was deciding not to and even making that good decision was making me cry.  Ugh.  So glad tomorrow is Friday.

Days 4 and 5 of the dress diet

I am SO tired again today.  I have been rowing a lot.  Maybe that has something to do with it.  I dunno. I just know that I need sleep now.  I ate well yesterday and today.  I also rowed 10,000m each day.  Maybe that is why I am tired now.  I don't think makes a whole lot of sense.  Not good.

Day 3 of the dress diet

Well I mentioned the bridesmaid dress diet to some kids before school and then one of those kids, who I've known for 15 or so months, writes, "The bridesmaid's diet will probolly (sic) last a week."  I'm glad I saw that after the kid had left the room.  Too funny.  I had 1705 calories today or at least that is my estimate.  It is hard for me to estimate food like a steak salad from espn zone.  Anyways, I did venture to starbucks twice but those calories "only" add up to 195.  I did not exercise at all today and my hamstrings are thanking me.  I'm back to running, rowing, or both tomorrow.  Oh joy!

Day 2 of the dress diet

I rowed 10000m again and I walked/jogged 4 miles.  I ate more food today because I went out to Santa Clarita and had lunch with my college roommate and her two kids.  It was fun.  We had japanese food and it was tasty.  I haven't had tempera in SO long.  I am now tired.  I have to remember to get up tomorrow and go to school.  Tomorrow I may row at night.  I need to make some photocopies in the morning for geometry.  I'm yawning.  I think sleep would be smart at this point.  Let's be smart!

Day 1 of the dress diet

I jogged 4 miles.  I rowed 10000m.  I ate about 1445 calories.  I did not get enough sleep last night.  I am tired now.  I relaxed today though.  I did some grocery shopping and I know how I'm going to "attack" these next few weeks.  Things should be good.

Day 28

I made it back to my condo.  I was going to leave tomorrow morning but that didn't happen.  43 hours was it.  Mom gave me about 600 pencils.  My trunk is filled with school supplies.  We had good moments but it's so hard to "keep it together".  So tonight when I got back I mixed up 12 pumpkin bread "muffins" and ate all of them...well 9 muffins and 3 muffins worth of batter.  I don't feel sick which is amazing.  I need to rest these next 2 days so I can make it to winter break in one piece.

Day 27

It was a good day.  I got to hang out with mom and dad together and separately.  It was a nice time.  We had a good dinner.  No mashed potatoes, no rolls, no pie.  It was fine.  We used the nice wedding china.  My big splurge was the bottle of Martinelli's dad had for me...520 calories.  Oh well.  It was tasty.

Day 26

Made it up north.  Yesterday was a good day.  I tried something different last night at starbucks...a caffe americano.  Pretty good and only 25 calories in a large.  Mom and I are chillin at a starbucks now.  It's fun for all if we get out of the house some.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Day 25

Another fine eating day.  I did have 2 cans of diet pepsi but I didn't go to starbucks.  I finally made it to DMV.  Thank goodness I had an appointment.  I was in and out of there in 15 minutes.  Sometimes it's good to be early.

Day 24

A good eating day!  I did have bread and cereal and a large peppermint mocha lite frap from Starbucks but I stopped at 2180 calories for the day.  That is good for me.  I'm happy about how the day went.  Vacation is nice even if it is unpaid.

Day 23

It was a good day.  I ate fine and had fun.  I even got the last of the grading done for the week.  Woohoo.  Tomorrow I go to DMV to renew my license.  I guess it's time to be 5'10 instead of 5'8 and I don't know what weight I want to pick.  Lol.  We'll see.

Day 22

It was a productive day.  I cheered kids on at cif finals for cross country.  I finished correcting geometry tests.  I think combined it took about 6 hours to correct those.  The test had 5 proofs on it which are a pain in the butt to grade.  Anyways, I'm glad that's done.  I still have AP Stats homework to look at but I can finish that tonight and essentially be done with paperwork for the week.  That'll be nice.  Starting Monday I need to do a TON of cardio.  This past week was not good at all for eating and my bridesmaid dress does not fit right now.  This is bad.  My parents are taking the dress with them in the van.  I won't even get to know if it fits until the 18th and the wedding is the 21st.  Ugh.  I know I can lose enough weight if I swim/run/row a bunch for a month.  I'll probably lose most of my muscle but I don't know what else to do at this point.  I get myself into messes and then try to get myself out of them.  Someday this will change!

Day 21

This short week is over and now I have 9 days off counting weekends.  I just walked aimlessly through the 24 hour walmart.  Walking down the Christmas aisles made me sad.  Blah.

Day 20

Not great but not terrible either.  I'm glad the week is almost over.  I corrected tests at coffee bean for 2 hours and got those done.  Everyone is taking a test tomorrow.  There will be a lot of work to do.  Oh well.  I'm also going to be going to the school play tomorrow after school.  I hope it's entertaining.  I know quite a few students involved so that should make it fun.

Day 19

Ok in the morning.  Really bad in the afternoon.  I am SO tired.  I need sleep now.  Just got home from school, dentist, bells, and dinner with a friend.

Day 18

I ate about 10 mojo bars when I got home from the gym.  Not a great plan obviously.  I called my parents.  I had sent my dad a picture of a geometry project we had done today with triangle where we used some of the things my mom has bought like rulers, protractors, and scissors.  Well when she got on the phone I could hear him in the background reminding her to mention the picture to me.  She couldn't remember on her own.  I wanted to cry.  But I didn't.  Then I decided I needed to stop eating and write something instead.  It helped.  I need to do this more often.  So this is what I wrote and put on facebook...

How important is a person's memory?  

A year ago I would say very important.  

People who remember facts make thousands of dollars on Jeopardy.

They get good grades in school. 

They don't misplace things very often.

They remember how to get places.

They know your name.

They remember what is important to you and they ask you about it.

But life circumstances are forcing me to change my mind.

A person's smile is important.

The way they treat others is important.

The way they give you hugs and kisses is important.

The way they show you they care is important.

It's ok if they can't remember what day it is.

It's ok if they ask you the same thing 3 times in 5 minutes.

It's not ok, but it is.

It's life.

Day 17

Well I ended about a 1000 calories over for the day.  That's what happens when I start the day with pancakes and then don't really have an eating plan in place.  I ate a lot of those dang mojo bars again.  I need to get rid of the ones I have and then not rebuy them.  They are dangerous.  I am so glad it is only a 4 day week at school.  I can make it 4 days.  After I talk with my mom on the phone I really should just get in the habit of crying instead of eating.  That would be smart.  Live and learn!

Day 16

I ate A LOT of Clif Mojo bars today.  I had finished 2090 of my 2300 calories by 11:30.  I need a new strategy when I don't want to do things.  I should just take a mental break and watch a movie or something.  Eating 5 Mojo bars did not help.  So then I just ate my last mojo bar of the day putting my calories at 2290.  For most of the afternoon I thought I'd be over on calories and then I realized, wait, you don't have to go over...so I didn't.  But now I am tired, it is cold, and I have no calories left...this means I'm going to try and sleep at 7:45.  We'll see.  I did walk 3 miles this afternoon after going to the gym so who knows.

Day 15

Still no starbucks.  I ate the 4 cookies for breakfast and then went to Panera and got a chocolate chip bagel.  I had eaten 1800 of my 2300 calories by 11:30am.  I finished the day right at 2300.  Thank goodness I didn't fall off the deep end.  I am so tired.  I'm going to bed!

Day 14

Well yesterday was ok but I did go over 2300 calories.  I went to Corner Bakery after school to correct geometry quizzes.  I didn't get them done and I ate 2 muffins while I was there.  Not super smart since I knew I was going to be getting Paradise Bakery cookies later in the evening.  I got 4 but I did wait until this morning to eat them.  But now I only have 500 calories left for the day and it is only noon.  That is not good.  I'm headed out to watch a lot of Brea sports stuff.  Maybe that will help me not eat.  We'll see.

Day 13

I ate alright today but I did eat a lot of food on my way to school.  Eating food while driving helps me to get to my destination.  I dunno, it's weird.  My therapist suggested I "be sad" or "let myself feel the sadness" for 15 or so minutes a day.  I know that would help.  I just don't want to do it.  Maybe starting Saturday.

Day 12

I haven't been to starbucks in quite awhile!  I am happy about that.  I am SO tired once again.  This time change is kickin my butt.  I went to the gym this afternoon and worked out for 20 minutes.  Then I helped Esmi with her college algebra homework.  I think I can go to sleep now but it is "early".  Oh well.

Day 11

I finally looked at all of my papers.  I went to corner bakery and tried using that place instead of starbucks.  It was a nice change.  I was there 3 hours and 15 minutes.  Oh my.  The free ice tea refills are keeping me up but since I got such messed up sleep last night I may be able to go to bed.  Here's hoping.  Eating ok again today but I didn't go to the gym.  I need days off every once in awhile.

Day 10

Today was a typical Monday at school.  Kids are usually coming off the "high" of the weekend so Monday's are a bit nuts.  They usually settle way down on Tuesday.  It must have been observation day because both the principal and one of the assistant principals came into my room for about 5 minutes each.  Grades are due tomorrow and I have procrastinated and then procrastinated some more.  Not good.  I'd normally start eating now but I just need to go to sleep even though I took a 2 hour nap this afternoon.  I also promised Ryan that I wouldn't eat anymore tonight as I was leaving the gym.  Sleep!

Day 9

Today was a good day but now I am tired.  I did laundry, dishes and cooked some food this afternoon.  I am ready for sleep.  Tomorrow I have to look at a lot of papers for school.  Grades are due on Tuesday at 8am.  I know I went over on calories today but I am hoping it's only by about 400.  I did not nosedive completely although around 4pm I was thinking about it seriously.  I'm glad I took a step back and looked logically at the situation.  Thank goodness.

Day 8

I ate out twice with the parents and it was fine.  We had a lot of fun at the Breeder's Cup.  Dad won the last race so that was fun.  It was also really exciting so good times all around.  I am now super tired.  Yay for an extra hour of sleep.

Day 7

I could have fallen off the deep end but I didn't so that was good.  Now I am really tired.  I need sleep.  Last night 4 hours was not enough.  I'm giving my left knee some rest today.  No gym for me.  Maybe tomorrow.

Day 6

I didn't eat the "best" foods today but I stayed under 2300 so I'm happy about that.  I helped a former student in brea with math.  We met at Corner Bakery and she mentioned via text that she wanted to buy me dinner.  Well at that point I only had 265 calories left and you can't really get anything there for that amount so I told her I had had a large lunch, which was true, and that maybe she could get me tea instead.  She agreed and the day did not turn bad eating-wise.  Tomorrow I'm having dinner at Disneyland so I need to plan accordingly.  Oh, and all that tea has made me pretty much awake at 11pm.  Probably not the best of plans, but whatever.