Day 76

Observations from today:

I woke up and did something for myself.  I went and walked on the beach between Belmont Shore and Long Beach.  So that makes the "bars, bars, bars" even more confusing and by bars I mean 12 of them. Ugh and whatever.  I've been here before.  I keep coming back.  It's so stupid.

I took a 2 hour nap since I only slept from midnight until 4:50 or so.  Therefore I'm wide awake.  I was going to go get a sink plunger from Target since the standing water is looking kind of gross in my kitchen but it sounds like it's raining.  I may go out anyways.

My brain won't slow down long enough to have one normal thought.  It's jumping all around and I'm left just doing nothing...well, that's not true...I eat.

Day 75

This was looking a lot like a self-destruct day.  I ate a ton of "bars" and not a lot of "real" food.  The only good thing is that the bar eating was really spread out so not really an eating spree but not something I can really be happy about either.

I don't know what happens.  School stress is a major part and then things go almost too well at the gym and I don't want to look too good for some dumb reason...and that makes it sound like I think I look good and I don't think that so it's bizarre.

I ended up rowing 9500m tonight so I don't have to row tomorrow.  It took 47 or so minutes.  I listened to Tchakovsky's, I don't care about spelling now, entire piano concerto as I rowed.  That was a nice change.

I'm tired.  This morning I woke up at 4am and went back to sleep until 5.  Maybe tomorrow I'll sleep til 5.  Crossing my fingers.

Oh, and I've made it to 503,000m rowed since Nov. 14th.  A million here I come.

Day 74

I slipped back into eating "bars" a bit this week...on Monday I had 2 and today I had 4 but it was 2 and 2 and it was 3 hours apart.  Ugh...I'm trying to eat "real" food but sometimes the convenience of a kind bar or pure bar or think thin bar is too much to resist...and they taste good.

I didn't row today but I did "move" 5000lbs as fast as possible...meaning pick a weight and then do enough power clean and jerks (ground to overhead) to get to 5000lbs total.  So I chose 95lbs which means I needed to do 53 reps.  I did this workout on March 18th of last year at 75lbs and 67 reps in just under 12 minutes.  So today it took 9:47 to get done.  I was happy with that.  It's nice to know that I'm stronger than I was a year ago.  And I think that was why I was extra hungry this evening and the bars came a'callin.

I woke up at 4am this morning.  :(  I want to sleep well again soon.  Tomorrow is a complete rest day.  Please let it be good.

Day 73

I woke up at about 4:50am and decided to go row at 24.  This is my last rowing day of the week.  I went 8000m again and it took 39:36 so a little faster than yesterday.

I think today was pretty stressful at school.  There were 4 types of problems to show the geometry kids how to do in 45 minutes.  Ugh.  Too much information for some of their brains.  I did front squats at the gym this afternoon and that went well.  Then I went to Downtown Disney to kill some time until I met a friend to hang out.  Well that's when things started to get bad.  I decided to get a Jamba Juice and that ended up ok because it didn't spin out of control but for about 10 minutes it really felt like it could.  I end up in situations and I'm asking myself, What are you doing?  It's not good.  So that's when I feel like I want to eat myself out of the bad situation.  But that never works.  It's a terrible plan.  So I need to practice not getting into "bad" situations.  It's sooo difficult.

I slept through the night last night.  Yay.  I know it's too early for me to sleep but if I stay up I'm still going to want to eat for some reason.  Crazy.

Day 72

I rowed 8000m today at the gym after doing power cleans and burpee box jumps.  I rowed slowly and took breaks to get the sweat off my hands.  TMI, I know.  The 8000m took 41:16, way slower than when I don't take any breaks.

I ate alright today.  I had a brief fleeting thought to buy and then gobble a bunch of food down.  I'm not entirely sure why I had that feeling but I didn't give in to it.  I'm trying to go 30 days without an eating spree.  I don't mind eating less than ideal food...and as I write that I'm thinking who are you kidding, yeah you do.  I can't do it because then my mind deems the day a "fail" and it gives me license to screw up even more.  I physically feel bad after that and I feel even worse mentally.  So yeah, no straying too far from the "eating plan", as my brother calls it, for me for the next few weeks.  The good news is that today is day 10.  Gotta keep on going.

Didn't sleep through the night last night.  Tonight I try again.  But not until I input Geometry quiz scores.  Yay...I think.

Day 71

I was stressed out about how today would go and it was fine.  I work at a great school and I'm happy.  I did get an unlisted number trying to call me at about 8:50pm and that was slightly unnerving since they didn't leave a message but I'm not going to worry too much about it.

Today was an off day from the gym and it turned out fine.  No eating crazy.  It was a productive afternoon on all levels.  I haven't been up this late in awhile and I'm pretty tired.  Hopefully tonight I can sleep all the way through.

Day 70

I rowed this morning.  I did not play my flute at church.  There was too much going on in my brain...and I had a backed up sink to worry about.

The rowing is an interesting experience.  I know I rowed 4 sets of 800m with 2 minutes rest about a month ago but I didn't look at any of my times until I got home this afternoon.  So this morning I rowed 3:16, 3:07, 3:05, and 3:04 at the end.  Huh, so this rowing plan "works" I guess because a month ago my fastest time was 3:07.  After the second round this morning I didn't think I could go any faster and I definitely didn't think the last 800m would be the fastest.  I've said it before but I think I'll say it again so my brain can keep remembering...our bodies will do way more than we think they are capable of.  But I still think it's crazy every single time it happens.

I'm taking tomorrow off from the gym instead of Tuesday so we'll see how that works.  Oh and I'm thinking about "running" in the catalina marathon in November.  It's dumb but I think I want to do a marathon purely to say that I did.  I'm really not that kind of person so I dunno.  I figure if I'm going to "run" 26.2 miles that it should be on trails mostly.  They have an 8 hour limit.  I'm thinking I'll walk a bunch of it.  But I still don't know.  We'll see.

Day 69

A little stressed today but I was productive so that always makes things a little better.  I did have a run in with my parents old food processor they gave me.  I tried making coleslaw and the stupid shredder blade wouldn't budge when I was done.  So I ended up tilting the entire machine and getting the contents out of the bowl with a knife through the 1/4 inch gap.  At one point I wanted to take the entire appliance, with the food still in the bowl, and throw it in the dumpster.  That was before 9am.

Then I went to the gym and lifted weights and rowed 9000m in 46:10.  I felt better after that.  But I was really hungry.  I ate my usual huge breakfast at 5:45 or so.  I had a protein drink at the gym.  I had a lamb burger patty, coleslaw, and brussels sprouts at noon.  I was still hungry so I had some cauliflower and then I was still hungry around 1 so I had another protein drink.  Finally I was ok and I ate pastrami, brussels sprouts, and 2 yellow squash at 5.  Then I had some pulled pork and coleslaw at 8:30.  On Friday I only ate 4 meals and no protein drinks.  Apparently that wasn't enough.  I need to remember to eat 3-4 times a day and have a protein shake 1-2 times a day.

I've read people should sleep 8-9 hours a day.  Uhh, what?  I tried that last week.  I don't feel too different. And last night after going to sleep before 9pm, I woke up at midnight and again at 3:30 before finally getting up a bit after 5.  It was not restful sleep.  We'll see how it goes tonight because I want to just go to sleep now.  I may row tomorrow morning.  Maybe.  I also may play my flute at church again.  Who knows.

Day 68

Pretty stressful day at school but the weekend is here so that is really nice.  I'm going to make pulled pork in my crockpot tomorrow.  I painted this afternoon and had dinner with a friend so that really helped make the stressful day not so bad.  I only briefly considered diving into an eating tailspin and decided it just isn't worth it.  Notice though that it is only 8:35 and I am going to bed.  I don't want to tempt fate.

Day 67

I'm ready for the weekend.  I went to the track and field meet to cheer for a bunch of my students and then I went to watch a girl from church play lacrosse.  That put me at the gym much later than normal and I got home later than normal.  So I really need to go to sleep.

I rowed 8000m in 37:19 tonight.  No rowing tomorrow.  It's a day off completely.  Let's see if I can do another day off from the gym without completely falling apart.  I know it's doable.

Day 66

Pretty good day.  I only wanted to flip out once at school, well now that I'm thinking about it, maybe twice.  

I rowed at the gym.  4 sets of 1500m with 3 minutes rest.  My times were 6:15, 6:01, 5:59, and 6:02.  I looked back to last week and when I did the 1500's then I got 6:55, 6:12, and 5:56.  So this week was "better".

I went to Sprouts to get the double "ads" tonight.  I ate dinner before I went.  I made a list.  I was almost convinced by the bad part of my inner voice to buy something like a granola bar to eat madly on my way home.  I have no idea why.  But I didn't listen to the voice this time.

Day 65

I almost flipped out at the post office this morning but it ended up ok and I've now applied for a passport.  Canada here I come.  I got my hair cut this afternoon and then I hung out with a friend so it was a good day off from the gym for once.  I didn't self-destruct and that was nice.  I also talked with my brother for about 45 minutes on the phone.  We laughed and talked serious stuff and everything in-between that siblings can do after not talking for 2-3 weeks.  I miss my brother a ton but I know he's got a good life in Michigan.  I'm happy for him.

Tomorrow morning is late start so I may try to row at 24 before school.  We'll see if I can get up.

Day 64

I am so tired.  I wanted to go to bed by 9.  Obviously didn't happen tonight.  I ate ok today.  I did not row but I lifted weights at the gym so that was fun.

I've realized that there will always be "pull out my hair" moments at school.  Everyday.  But it's ok.  That's why I also write down the funny things kids say.  The balance isn't too bad.

The depression class was interesting.  I'm meeting with the guy who taught the class in three weeks so I'm glad I thought he was intelligent and has a pretty good sense of humor.

Bedtime.  Day off from gym completely tomorrow.  Hair cut instead.  And maybe a passport.  We'll see.

Day 63

I rowed 8500m this morning in 43:08 and that was ok.  I played my flute for the first time in about 2 months and that was good.  I played when I was upset growing up.  I don't know why I stopped.  I cried this afternoon and that was ehh.  I went to the gym this evening and that always makes me feel better.  I cooked food, did dishes, and did some laundry.

This book, "feeling good", is actually really good.  But I can tell that I'm reading it to say I've read it.  I'm not taking the time to really think too much about what is being presented.  I just started a chapter about "do-nothingism" where people just don't want to do anything.  Doing anything actually makes them feel better. Well, I just want to do nothing for awhile.  I want to be ok with lying on the ground and staring at the ceiling for 20 minutes.  But I don't feel like it's ok for me to do this.  Big ugh there.  I want to turn off my brain, not worry about anything, and just be.  I think this is what it means in Psalms where it says to
"Be still and know that I am God".  I can't figure out how to do this and I know I need to.  Maddening.

Day 62

I went to Starbucks and corrected Geometry tests.  I went to Target and bought nice smelling room stuff to mask the Skunky smell in my bathroom.  I went to the gym and rowed a bunch and did other stuff.  I went home and did a load of laundry.  I did the dishes.  I filed my taxes.  I read some of a book called "Feeling Good".  I went to Lucilles.  They brought me the biscuit before I could tell them I didn't want it and it was downhill from there.

My mom called sometime after that but I missed it and had to call her back.  She asked how I was doing and if I needed anything.  I don't know how to tell them I'm going crazy.  I did manage to tell my dad that I want the summer to be here.  They are getting ready to go on a big trip and I don't want them to worry about me while they're gone.

At one point after the Lucilles disaster I was driving around almost crying in my car.  I decided that all I really want to do is walk.  I just want to start walking and see where I end up, kinda.  I really want to go "hiking" but I know I'm not supposed to hike alone.  I'm trying to join an OC Hiking group and see what that's all about.  The lady that runs the meet up group writes on Sundays in the OC Register.  I need to do something basic and free that gets me outside.

I'm afraid people won't like me if I'm "too healthy".  But I actually do enjoy healthy foods.  They make me feel good.  But because I'm crazy I still manage to eat well like I want to in front of other people and then I go for self sabotage when I'm alone so that I don't get "too skinny" again.  So now no one is telling me I'm too skinny but at the same time I don't like the way I look or feel.  So I end up annoyed at myself and the world and everything in it.  And because I'm annoyed I'd rather be alone.  I don't want to have to pretend to be happy since I already do that 7 hours a day at school.

I've tried talking with God but I'm mad at Him too and I've told Him that.  I'm also annoyed at the Kaiser lady.  She told me to get off the eating thing but talking with "ed" was working.  I liked telling "ed" off.  The "feeling good" book just puts a different spin on it.  They call "ed" your "internal critic" and the author encourages people to write down what their internal critic says, what type of mental distortion is present, like "all or nothing" thinking which I definitely have issues with, and then what a rational response would be to the internal critic.  So after letting Ed win since Monday (minus Friday) I'm going back to telling him to take a long walk off a short bridge.  I don't know why I listen to other people when I usually know what I need to do I'm just afraid to do it.  I need to trust myself every once in awhile and see how that goes.

Day 61

At 5:43am...Talking with the lady at Kaiser of Monday got me all confused.  Confused isn't really the right word but still.  Since I'm not seeing the new guy until April 9th and she basically told me I use food to deal I let that be my ticket to eat whatever crap food I could all week long.  Today I woke up late so I didn't eat my eggs, canadian bacon and veggies.  But I had pastrami, brussels sprouts, and yellow squash instead...that was faster than steaming broccoli.  Today is Friday.  We are on "rally schedule" and my geometry kids are taking a test.  That has "stress" written all over it.  But I'm going to be ok.  It's just school.  It's not the end of the world if things don't go perfectly, do they ever when teenagers are involved.  (It's easier to convince myself of this if I write it down.  Let's see if this works.)

At 9:18pm...I made it through the day without eating any sugar.  I ate 4 times and had two protein shakes.  That's a lot of blocks.  But no sugar so that has to count for something.  There were a lot of "pull out my hair" moments today but I had written a "1" and the letters "DFTU" on my hand.  That helped.  I know swearing isn't great but don't mess this up just doesn't capture how I feel most days.  I rowed 3 sets of 1500m this evening with 4 minutes of rest in-between.  The times went from 6:55 down to 6:12 down to 5:56.  The 6:55 really should have been a warm-up.  Oh well.

Day 60

No rowing today.  I'm still using Zone blocks when I do eat the "right" way.  When I don't eat real food I end up really hungry later even though I've technically eaten a lot of food.  That should be incentive to eat well.  I had a caffeine withdrawal headache all day today.  I need to be done with coffee houses.  So glad tomorrow is Friday.  Really hoping the geometry kids do well on their test because then it will be a lot easier to correct.

Day 59

I ate badly and I rowed well (8000m in 36:16).  I almost went nuts at school and AZ lost.  That pretty much sums up the day.  I'm actually thinking of going to bed now because I need this day to be over.

I'm getting back on the "I deserve to be healthy" train tomorrow.  I can't do this another day.  It sucks.  A year ago I would have gone out and purchased cupcakes or cheesecake or whatever crap food I could get my hands on.  Right now the thought of that makes me even more sick to my stomach than I already am.  Life isn't as bad as I'm perceiving it to be.  How stupid...and I know I'm not supposed to call myself stupid...whatever.

Day 58

Things I know about myself...
It's very difficult to accept compliments.  I think there must be strings attached.
(I had 2 former students tell me I looked good today.)
I do not make good decisions when I'm tired.
(I was almost falling asleep on the way to school so I stopped at the Ralphs in Brea and bought three think thin bars.)
I can't seem to handle taking a day off from the gym.  Things always fall apart.
(For some reason I don't think I deserve a day to relax and do whatever.  I feel like I should always be working on something.)
The sooner in the day I make a "bad" food decision the worse it is.
(First bad decision was at 6:40am today and the last one was at 9:30pm.)
I want to be good at my job.
(We've been talking about area for a month and a bunch of kids still can't find the area of a triangle or a circle...you've got to be kidding me.)
I don't handle sad things very well.
(I found out one of my seniors has a dad that isn't expected to live past July.  I had this students' older brother in class about 5 years ago as well.  Major suckage.  I wanted to cry.)

So that is all to say that today was not a good eating day at all.  I know there has to be a better way to "cope" but I just don't know what it is right now.  Thank goodness I get to go to the gym tomorrow.

Day 57

I rowed today.  7 sets of 500m with 2 minutes of rest in-between:  2:01, 1:56, 1:58, 1:57, 1:55, 1:56, and 1:55.  I momentarily thought about counting the 2:01 as a "warm-up" and rowing one more 500m at a good speed and decided "no way".

I'm taking tomorrow off completely from the gym.  Breaks are good.  I'm probably going to watch Brea girls basketball in the 3rd round of the state playoffs tomorrow night.

The appointment at Kaiser was interesting.  The consultation lady said no eating disorder but that food is my coping mechanism...(no kidding).  Anyways, there's ways to "fix" that etc. but it requires work and all that so the road is still long but at least now maybe I'm on the right one.

Umm, so seeing as my eating sprees are my way of dealing, that's what I did today.  Not as bad as in the past.  I thought about going out and buying some protein bars at 9:45pm, I've already had 4 throughout the day, but decided that would be dumb.  I had 3 apples today and a banana, so kind of a lot of fruit.  I dunno.   I don't feel sick but I also know I chose to eat too much today.  I feel like I need time to think but at the same time I don't really slow down enough to let my brain do that.  I think my next appointment at KP is on the 9th, day after Easter, first day of my spring break.  It can't get here soon enough.

If Arizona wins on Wednesday night, then I'm going to Tucson this weekend for a game.  I decided I'm "all in" for this season...but this will be the last game I can really go to as the remaining 3 games would be on a Wednesday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Day 56

I'm at the point in the evening where if I don't go to sleep almost immediately then I'm going to eat something I shouldn't be eating.

I did a lot today:  I rowed 8000m in 43:37, went to Target, went to church, helped celebrate a friend's birthday, went to Costco and Sprouts, cooked Moroccan Chicken and brussels sprouts and sliced up pepper and green onions for omelets, went to the gym, corrected AP Stats tests at Starbucks for 2 hours and got some stuff ready for tomorrow.

But there's a ton of stuff I didn't do and that's when Ed creeps into my brain telling me I should have done more and that if only I ate some food then I could stay awake and put test scores into the computer.  I say whatever.  Maybe I'll get up really early and do that then instead.

Today was Eh for the food...two protein drinks with fruit, two protein bars, chicken caesar salad, and turkey lettuce wraps with sides of steamed brussels sprouts and sautéed zucchini.  I need to eat real food in the morning.  I think skipping my usual omelet was a bad idea.

Tomorrow I see someone at Kaiser.  I feel like I'm doing ok right now on my own but I thought that last time and it flew back in my face so we'll see.

Day 55

I took 2 days off from rowing so I thought this morning would be a good time to see if I could lower my 500m time.  I did a 500m warm-up and then the 500m fast.  My old time was 1:43.  The young kid, age 18 or 19, at the gym rowed a 1:37 last week.  I wanted to beat my time and try to catch him.  Well I started off at a 1:37 pace and couldn't really get under that and then on the last 110m or so I ran out of steam completely and finished in 1:40.  I'm glad I beat my old time.  I need to remember that the damper was on a 6.  Not sure that was the best choice.

I was at the Pac-12 Championship game this afternoon and I took a protein bar with me which I ate around 3:30.  By halftime at 4:15 Ed was talking to me telling me I wanted more food etc.  Ugh.  I wrote out what he and I said back and forth to each other on a scratch paper pad that I carry around in my purse.  I went to Islands tonight and tried their sweet potato fries, along with a bun-less grilled chicken sandwich.  Now I think they may have the best fries.  Better than Lucilles for sure.  Probably better than the Cheesecake Factory as well.  Ed tried to bother me tonight and I did just eat some stuff that I hadn't planned on eating-a banana, a protein drink, and some macadamia nuts.  I wasn't hungry but it wasn't a binge either.  If I stay up it could turn into an eating spree so here's to sleep.  I need to sleep more.  Now that bball is essentially over maybe that will happen.

Day 54

I went to Starbucks and got unsweetened green tea instead of a frappacino...amazing.  I did just eat food and it's late for me to be eating.  Probably didn't need to eat but it wasn't Ed so much as it was me being a bit hungry.  But I could've just gone to bed and that may have been better because now Ed is telling me to eat more since I've already eaten so late.  I'm going to tell him whatever and go to sleep.

Day 53

I was so tired last night after getting home from the game that I went to sleep within 30 minutes.  Yesterday ended up being a fine eating day.  Ed tries to get me to eat things late at night to stay awake.  I've been going to bed instead.  Sleep is good.  I'm glad it's Friday.

Day 52

I feel like I ate a lot today but none of it was a binge.  So I'm good with it.  I've had sweet potato fries 4 nights in a row which means I've eaten out 4 nights in a row.  Not the best plan for my wallet but I'm currently not letting Ed win so that's the good side of it.  He briefly told me tonight that I needed to get a Starbucks since the person I was hanging out with had a Starbucks.  I told him to take a long walk off a short bridge.

I rowed 5000m this afternoon and the time wasn't great...23:36.2.  I'm just getting the meters done right now and hopefully building some staying power in my legs.

Tomorrow is a day off from rowing since I'll be at the afternoon session of the Pac-12 tournament.  There is potential for the eating to be bad since I don't really know what is happening food-wise from 12:45 on.  We'll see.  I've got 12 smiley faces in a row on my calendar.  Yay.

Day 51

I rowed 7500m again today.  About 30 seconds slower than Saturday evening.  I finished in 35:55.9.  I was tired but I knew I needed to get it done.  I'm just trying to build endurance with these types of rows.

I ate 4 real meals and 1 protein shake/fruit meal today.

I was at Sprouts right before they closed.  I went to eat at Lucille's and then dashed over to Sprouts.  While I was at Lucille's I found out that the Cal Poly women's team won tonight so they will be in the semifinals on Friday to see who gets the bid to the NCAA tournament.  My parents are coming down to watch it at noon.  I may be at Staples Center on Friday at 6 if Arizona wins on Thursday.  If Cal Poly loses my dad said via text that they might not even see me because they may go watch AG girls play on Saturday if they win tomorrow.  He called it "complicated".  No kidding.  All I read was that I may not see my parents this weekend even though they'll be in town.  So that was Ed's opportunity to tell me to buy a bar of some sort as I was dashing out of Sprouts.  I got in line before someone with a full cart so there was no way I was going to go peruse the "bar" aisle.  Sometimes there are LaraBars or some other bars at the checkout counter.  Well not at this one.  I was sad but not because Ed lost tonight.  I was not hungry and it is impossible to eat my emotions.  I've tried before.  It just doesn't work.

Day 50

I rowed today.  3 sets of 2000m with 4 minutes rest in-between.  The times were 8:23.4, 8:21.9 and then 8:09.1.  I was tired at the end.  I'm tired now.  I need sleep.

Ed showed up once this morning.  I was cutting up an apple to eat this afternoon and I got out a plastic container to put the slices in.  The container was too small so I ate 2 of the 8 slices.  Ed is whispering in my ear, "Well you've ruined the day.  You aren't supposed to be eating any of that apple now.  You might as well throw your hands up into the air and quit.  Eat whatever you want all day long."  And around 2pm I almost did.  But I told Ed no.  I'm not going to be dumb today.

Day 49

Today was filled with a lot of driving and a basketball game.  Ed only creeped in a bit and he didn't really wreck havoc so that was nice of him today.  SO tired.

Day 48

Rowed 7500m in 35:33.9.  Ate ok.  2 protein shake meals and 2 real food meals.  I've got food ready to cook/eat/heat up for the next 2-3 days.  Ed only tried to show up once when I got back to my condo to find that my mom had left some fruit and lemons that I told her I wasn't going to eat.  Usually I eat the food she's left as fast as possible.  This time I thought about throwing it all out.  Instead I ate some of it and put the rest in the refrigerator.  Tomorrow will be a no exercise/interesting eating day.  We'll see how it goes.

Day 47

Rowed for 20 minutes.  Got 4572m.  Last time I rowed 4640m.  I did stop twice to fix the food straps.  Ehh.  I only got 4 hours of sleep so that may have been part of it.

Ed only showed up a few times today.  I think about food all the time, like when and what am I eating next, but Ed's not always present then.  But tonight at the Anaheim Arena while my parents were both out doing something and I was saving seats, Ed told me to gobble down all the food I had with me to eat later on that evening.  We had been to Panda Express.  I was not hungry.  So I told Ed no.

I currently have no plan on what I'm eating tomorrow and that is not a good thing for me right now in my life so I need to figure that out soon.  I know I'm trying to get my tire fixed, going to the gym, and meeting my parents for a basketball game.  Food will have to fit in there somewhere so that I don't get too hungry and want to overeat later.

Day 46

An ok day.  Spent about 2.5 hours at Honda.  Corrected geometry quizzes while I waited and took a 20 minute or so nap.  Turns out I need a new tire and wheel.  :(  They might have it on Saturday which would be great.  That was almost enough to send me over the edge because I've been avoiding freeways since yesterday and Beach Blvd was closed due to the bank hostage situation so getting to the Honda place was "interesting".

Went to the gym for a really long time doing a variety of things including rowing.  I did 5 sets of 500m and I was happy that my times were all close together - 1:49, 3 at 1:50 and 1:51.  I'm getting faster which I didn't realize until I got home and looked back at my previous interval workout with 500's.  I was surprised.  This plan may actually work.

Mom and Dad are visiting tomorrow and Ed tried to convince me to eat an apple when I got home from Sprouts.  I'd already had three food meals and two protein shake meals today with fruit so there was no way I needed to eat an apple.  But Ed was telling me that an apple would help me stay awake a bit tonight to clean up my condo since they'll be here before I get back from school.  I told Ed no.  I didn't eat an apple.  And I got done what I needed to get done.