I rowed 8500m this morning in 43:08 and that was ok. I played my flute for the first time in about 2 months and that was good. I played when I was upset growing up. I don't know why I stopped. I cried this afternoon and that was ehh. I went to the gym this evening and that always makes me feel better. I cooked food, did dishes, and did some laundry.
This book, "feeling good", is actually really good. But I can tell that I'm reading it to say I've read it. I'm not taking the time to really think too much about what is being presented. I just started a chapter about "do-nothingism" where people just don't want to do anything. Doing anything actually makes them feel better. Well, I just want to do nothing for awhile. I want to be ok with lying on the ground and staring at the ceiling for 20 minutes. But I don't feel like it's ok for me to do this. Big ugh there. I want to turn off my brain, not worry about anything, and just be. I think this is what it means in Psalms where it says to
"Be still and know that I am God". I can't figure out how to do this and I know I need to. Maddening.
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