Days 110 and 111

Well I ate 4 bagels between Friday and Saturday.  I cannot for the life of me remember what I ate Friday for dinner which probably means it was "bars, bars, bars" again.  I ran in the OC 1/2 Marathon today.  I did not train for it specifically.  I ran 3 miles last Sunday and they were not "great" miles at all so when I signed up Wednesday night for the 1/2 I was not clearly thinking.  Well, maybe I was.  The week of grandmas' passing was ending.  I needed to "do" something for me.  And running for 2+ hours with no music where you don't have to worry about being mugged or run over by a car is for me.  I got to think.  I got to listen to myself breathe.  We ran by the ocean.  We went by the beach I was at when Dad called to say Mim had died.  We went by a beautiful terraced garden that was blooming with gorgeous pink flowers.  It was great running weather.  And I finished in 2:12:35, a pr by about 9 minutes.  I may not be completely happy with my weight as a number but I'm happy that I'm healthy.  I know I'm healthy, and maybe I've known that for awhile but I needed something like this to "prove it" to myself.  I also know that right now the motto, "Just keep going", doesn't just apply to running.  The second cycle of depression classes start tomorrow at Kaiser.  According to cognitive therapy, I need to "think" myself better.  Just keep going.