Day 114 - October 17, 2011

For the past year I've jumped from eating idea to eating idea.  Nothing lasts for very long.  I've tried paleo with no cheat days.  I've tried one cheat day a week.  I've tried two cheat meals a week.  I've tried one cheat day every two weeks.  I've tried eating something "non-paleo" once a day.  It's all bad.

I just told myself, "Eat whatever you want."  And I started to cry.  What is wrong with me?  I'm usually so busy trying to make other people happy that I forget what I want.  Sometimes I don't think I even know what I want.    

I really like my egg/bacon/veggie scramble in the mornings with broccoli and an avocado.  So good.  I think the veggie combo of green onions/bell peppers/mushrooms/tomatoes is the best.  I have that almost everyday for breakfast and for some reason it never gets old.

I could have pork or chicken fried cauliflower "rice" everyday.  I never knew I liked cauliflower that much.

I could eat shrimp or salmon everyday with veggies like the carrots/zucchini thing I've made twice or the eggplant caponata.  I also really like the moroccan chicken I made this weekend.  The chicken with lemon and artichoke hearts is also pretty good.  And chicken stir-fry is also ok.  And this is why my brain is on overload with this eating crap.  Why do I eat the stuff that's only "ok" for the sake of variety when I could just have the stuff that's "really good".

I could also eat pot roast with roasted carrots/celery/onions everyday or a tri-tip salad.

Those would be my 4 meals a day.

Eating should not be this big of a deal.  Eating fuels your body to do the things you really want to be doing.  So what do I really want to be doing?  Here's to figuring that out because right now I have no idea.

(Notice how I'm not writing what I ate today...it wasn't as bad as Thursday's 10 candy bars, but I just don't feel like writing it.  It's late for me....oh forget it, I'll write it... Avocado, chicken fried cauliflower "rice", 2 fruit by the foots, moroccan chicken with broccoli and carrots, 3 stalks of celery, 1 packet of almond butter, salmon, eggplant caponata, cashews, progenex, cucumber, venti mocha lite frap, 3 candy bars, 2/3 of a tray of pumpkin bars.)