Day 105

Day 2 of counting calories went well.  I'm now trying to decide how much I really like caffe lattes from Starbucks.  The medium has 190 calories because of the milk.  I tried "frothing" coconut milk tonight with a whisk and that was an interesting experience.  I may go see what Target has tomorrow.  Walmart did not sell anything that looked like milk frothers I've seen online.

No rowing today but I was able to do 25 one-armed snatches with a 45lb dumbbell, each arm.  It was 5 rounds of 10 with a run in-between.  Good times.  I felt strong after that.

Today I woke up hungry.  I wonder if that will happen tomorrow...which is only about 6 hours away.  Sleep!

Day 104

I rowed 10000m and that went alright.  I did not get a pr but I did finish in less than 50 minutes so that was good.

I started counting calories again today.  That is the only eating "thing" that has ever worked so I'm going back to it.  Today it went well.

I am SO tired again today.  I'm going to bed.  Now.

Day 103

"I just don't care" was my motto of the day.  I rowed for 25 minutes at the gym and got 5185m.  I'm extremely tired.  And I think too much.  I need sleep now.

Day 102

My grandma died three years ago yesterday.  It would have been better if I had not remembered that.  I make the same mistakes again and again.  This time it was "bars, bars, bars".  I also broke my "don't eat after 9pm" rule.  It would have been better to eat a 500 calorie donut than to eat 1500 calories of bars.  Ugh.  So glad it's Friday.

Day 101

It's early but I'm going to bed.  I was going to go out to Stater Bros but I just don't want to.  I do and I don't.  If I go out I'll get a medium decaf latte and they are $3.55.  I don't need one of those.  I just need to go to sleep.

No rowing today and tomorrow is a rest day.  I did manage to get 37 doubleunders in a row.  My old max was 30.  :)

Day 100

Well I finally rowed today.  I did the 8 sets of 500m intervals with 2 minutes rest.  Ugh.  It did suck.  My legs were tired and I could hardly breathe.  My times were fairly consistent...1:52 to 1:56 with a lot of 1:53's.  That part made me happy.  Then when I looked at my time from a month ago when I did 7 sets of 500m my times went from 1:55 to 2:01.  So I'm apparently getting faster even though this is only the 3rd time I've rowed in the past 10 days.  I need to keep going.

The eating is ehh.  No caffeine was a plus.  Eating "bars" is never good because they don't have sugar and yet they aren't "real food".  I definitely feel better eating real food but when I feel anxious, I grab whatever I can or I go buy whatever I can to eat then and there...well usually in my car.  This happened today.  I managed to not listen to anxious thoughts the first time but the second time they creeped into my head I let those jittery feelings "win".  The dude at Kaiser said that people are usually some blend of depressed and anxious.  I'm definitely more anxious than I am depressed.  This seems like it should be an easier thing to "fix".  I've started the "anxiety" book that he recommended so we'll see how that goes.

Day 99

Today was a 100% grain and sugar free day.  Whatever.  I was so tired today.  I almost fell asleep while driving to school.  I took a 20 minute nap in my car once I got to school.  I had a headache all day today.  I'm blaming that on caffeine withdrawal.  Then, for fun, ha, I decided to do a rough calorie count for the food I was planning on eating today.  Whoa, it was about 2500-3000 calories...and that was without any "cheat" type foods thrown in for fun.  Whatever, again.  I was kind of annoyed at that point.  So pretty much if I have cake or chocolate or whatever, it really takes away from my daily calories and without those "real food" calories, I'm pretty darn hungry.  I also think that having "cheat" foods everyday just makes me want them even more.  All of that to say that by the time I had the chance to eat a piece of my downtown disney candy tonight, I didn't even want it anymore.  I was pissed off at the food situation and didn't even feel like having the candy.  So stupid.  Again, I dunno.

I haven't been rowing in so long because my hands got messed up Saturday trying to work on pull-ups.  I never did the last set of intervals I needed to do.  Maybe Wednesday...but not if my hands are still bad.